V: So I'm cooking the sausages
V: But I forgot to stick them with a fork
Me: Yeeeers *thinks - great, an oven to clean when I get home*
V: What happens now?
Me: Well, have they exploded yet?
V: (agast) What?
Me: Well, why do you think they are called bangers?
V: No... no they haven't exploded (I can hear him thinking - she feeds me and my children explosive food?!)
Me: Well, stick 'em, cook them and serve them up
V: Oh...that's it?
Me: Yup, that's cooking m'dear.
When it comes to cooking, it has taken him twenty years to reach for anything more complicated than the tin opener and microwave. Give him another twenty and he might manage a roast.
I can't complain, he makes a fantastic cup of tea.