Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Bangers

I am at work and the phone goes. It is V

V: So I'm cooking the sausages
Me: Yes
V: But I forgot to stick them with a fork
Me: Yeeeers *thinks - great, an oven to clean when I get home*
V: What happens now?
Me: Well, have they exploded yet?
V: (agast) What?
Me: Well, why do you think they are called bangers?
V: No... no they haven't exploded (I can hear him thinking - she feeds me and my children explosive food?!)
Me: Well, stick 'em, cook them and serve them up
V: Oh...that's it?
Me: Yup, that's cooking m'dear.

When it comes to cooking, it has taken him twenty years to reach for anything more complicated than the tin opener and microwave. Give him another twenty and he might manage a roast.
I can't complain, he makes a fantastic cup of tea.

11 comments:

Deborah Godin said...

What a great man-in-kitchen story! And I hope you'll forgive me for having to ask (raised in the States, ya know) but (small tentative voice) is that really why they're called bangers?

Sian said...

Deborah: I believe so, that's what my mum told me anyway :o)

Sa said...

rofl!! explosive food!... i love it
you and hubby have a great repoitee (spelling!!) you should write a book of your conversations, it would be a best seller! GO ON seriously think about it

Nan and =^..^= said...

Sian, I love to read about your conversations with V! I agree with Sa!
Keep on writing about them...

Patois said...

Wait another 20 years for a roast? Okay.

Lorraine said...

Sian- Well, if he makes great tea, I think you should keep him.

alan pardoe said...

Mr V you are letting the side down men are better cooks than women everybody knows that but you .see the two Rob's in church.

Technodoll said...

LOL LOL! I guess men are the same just about all over the planet, eh?

Except if they're Gordon Ramsey.
reeeeeerrr!

Pippa said...

Ah we really enjoyed that!

Kim said...

I'll never forget my Dad, standing in the kitchen, smoke everywhere, asking how we like our sausages. 'Not like that' was our reply :)

Kim x

Kati said...

ROFL!!! I try to NEVER stick my sausages before I cook them. I think it keeps the moisture in better. However, the trick is to know when to pull them out just before they explode. *wry smile* Doesn't happen often, that they get pulled out of the oven in time. I usually wind up with a mess.

I've also always wondered about the true origin of the word "bangers" in relation to sausages. My mind tends to be permanently "gutter bound" in that regard. *wink*

Thanks for sharing the story of V's cooking skills with us. Glad to see that there ARE other men out there who need the most simple instruction for the most simple cooking-related task.