St George and all that...

In honour of the saint and in memory of The Bard's birthday here is one of my favourite quotes on England mainly because I believe, once upon a time, the following was true...

This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,

This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,

This other Eden, demi-paradise,

This fortress built by Nature for herself

Against infection and the hand of war,

This happy breed of men, this little world,

This precious stone set in the silver sea,

Which serves it in the office of a wall

Or as a moat defensive to a house,

Against the envy of less happier lands,--

This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.
William Shakespeare, "King Richard II", Act 2 scene 1

Bangers

I am at work and the phone goes. It is V

V: So I'm cooking the sausages
Me: Yes
V: But I forgot to stick them with a fork
Me: Yeeeers *thinks - great, an oven to clean when I get home*
V: What happens now?
Me: Well, have they exploded yet?
V: (agast) What?
Me: Well, why do you think they are called bangers?
V: No... no they haven't exploded (I can hear him thinking - she feeds me and my children explosive food?!)
Me: Well, stick 'em, cook them and serve them up
V: Oh...that's it?
Me: Yup, that's cooking m'dear.

When it comes to cooking, it has taken him twenty years to reach for anything more complicated than the tin opener and microwave. Give him another twenty and he might manage a roast.

I can't complain, he makes a fantastic cup of tea.